Realm of Evanescent Thoughts

mood: touched

music: Butterfly by Cowboy Bebop

Sometimes The Hermit card is selected from our vast, starry cosmos... and for good reason. Often times, I find that my conscious and unconscious souls run in unison towards sacred woodland earth, a constant search for shelter underneath changing leaves of season. Once there, I find that a myraid of colors await me above mossy rocks and beneath canopies of sunlight. What do I long for?

I long for spontaneous moments, the chance to meet new people, stumble upon new places, or feel that cleansing touch as I sit on a bench and watch lives pass me by. These emerging souls... what are they thinking, who are they with, what have they been through? Are they angry about a situation, or grateful to be alive? Have they awoken yet, do they recognize the clouds in the sky or the small blades of grass shooting up through cracks in the cement? Can they hear the birds or see them fly high above, soaring, free of all responsibility except for their next breath? I wonder, are there others with eyes of light and dark...

... there is no black and white in blue.

mood: confused

First it was the dragonfly. Next came its demise. Afterward came the ant, so intent on dragging the dead soul away forever. Candles were placed all around for protection, until the glass tomb was discovered. A strange smell to the air reminded me of fire and water, a constant battle. Who is there, keeping me from opening Pandora's box? Who does not want me to know? Lofty awareness soon followed, only to confuse, erase, perplex... someone's there, inside my head, trying to scare me away from the truth. I will not give up, I shall not surrender, not now when I am so close. I awake as if from a deep, dark sleep, my head tingling. I am not myself today. The world has changed. My senses have been awoken. I seek answers. I seek truth. Is there anyone, anything that can help me? Give me peace of mind? Help me along my path? Maybe I am meant to do it on my own. I am drawn outside towards an overgrown garden rich with weeds and wildflowers. I spy a lone rose atop a rosebush, silent, beautiful among so many dead leaves and threatening thorns. As I stand my ground in the grass, I feel my body move towards the earth, silent, guided, as if something were calling me. Six 4-leaf clovers follow, to my uncertain expectation. Am I becoming my true self? Why the extra luck and power?

It's as if I knew all along that... something is coming. Haunting. Calling. At my doorstep... holding out cold hands of understanding and immortality. They are asking for my hand, guiding me towards something of substance. Why the stillness, why are there frozen stones scattered all around? Am I supposed to bring them light?

There can be no fear of the unknown unless you plan on failure.

OPEN YOUR EYES!

mood: contemplative

 So I'm feeling creative. My thoughts need an escape.

It's that familiar feeling again; visions of waves crashing down on grainy gold, mixed with the euphoric sound of solitude buried inside a shell. My consciousness wanders aimlessly, lost with a definitive purpose. Is there a way out, or should I welcome myself home?

The past should teach you something. For most, this is a reoccuring dream, something to be rid of rather than surrounded by. I find myself in the opposition, constantly questioning what was real or illusion. True happiness is letting go of what is lost and embracing what inspires us to think past our internal defenses.

Few of us ever evolve. Fear of the unknown... as they say.